


Bittersweet

by MadasaMoriarty



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Almost Happy Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, F/M, Feels, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, He's Dead at the End, Heavy Angst, I always forget Jack Harkness, I'm Sorry, I'm a terrible person, Please Don't Hate Me, Romance, The Doctor dies, There's seriously a lot of angst, Very Heavy Angst, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2481278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadasaMoriarty/pseuds/MadasaMoriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor meets a girl many times in his life and saves her from a horrible fate. She promises to repay him one day, 'at the end.' Don't hate me for this! Contains Doctors 9/10/11 and ?, as well as Rose, River, Amy,Rory,Donna, and Martha. Doctor ? is played by Benedict Cumberbatch in my head. You can use who you like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bittersweet

The market place was loud and crowded but not so loud that Amry didn't hear the groan of time that swept in with the wind. And the creak of an aged door as a man came stumbling free of a little blue box. His face was grave, icy blue eyes set with angry resolve, dark leather jacket jacket drawn tight around his wiry frame. He didn't go far, just seated himself right there and watched the street, his anguish hidden behind steel.

With a gentle smile Amry made her way to his side, seating herself without comment beside him, pushing back her hood so her short, translucent hair could soak up the sunlight, casting small prisms against the side of the box. Reaching into the small wicker basket she kept with her she offered him a small black fruit. They sat like that for a short while, her holding out her humble offering, him steadfastly refusing to take it. At last with a snort of defeat he took it from her and rolled it between his fingers.

"I'm no good for you ya' know." He said at last, in a thick churlish accent. "I might seem like I'm in need of some 'support', but you sit there long enough and all your supports are gonna come tumbling down. Trust me."

She only shrugged, staring straight ahead.

"You won't stay. I won't stay." He shrugged expressively. "And maybe that's a good thing. People tend not to stay around me. And when they do it never ends well. So if you want to save yourself a whole lot of trouble I'd get along right now." He looked at her decisively, but she just smiled, serene. He drummed his fingers, staring at the fruit she'd given him balefully. "Maybe she saved her life not coming with me...God knows what would have happened to her if she had. At least this way she's got her little life, and her boyfriend and her chips..." His frown deepened as he thought about it. "To clever for that if you ask me. A girl like that? She could go places. I mean REAL places." He gestured emphatically, his eyes alight with belief. "And I could of taken her." The fight drained from him and he watched the street again.

"Why can't you?" Amry asked quietly, digging through her basket, taking out a small handful of berries and eating them one at a time.  
"I told you, I'm no good. She wouldn't have stayed, or she'd have died or been trapped forever. She's got her little shop, and her boyfriend and her 'domestics'." His voice dripped with derision. "Little ape like her? Wouldn't last. She'd be gone" He snapped his fingers "like that! And I'd be left to pick up the pieces."

"So?"

"So?" He turned to her. "900 years I've been picking up pieces. And not just my pieces, everybody else's pieces too, whole civilizations! Maybe it's just easier on everyone if I give up...forget the whole companion thing an' go it alone..."

"Maybe... and maybe it wouldn't be better for anyone." she turned to him at last, gazing at him softly with pale lavender eyes that glowed like a galaxy. "Being alone. It's a hard thing. Never really meant to last. Everyone needs someone. Maybe not forever. Maybe not for long. But every once and a while, we need not to be alone." She blinked slowly. "Maybe you take this girl with you, and maybe it doesn't last...but that doesn't mean it wasn't worth it. I would rather spend one week with someone then never meet them at all. Sometimes it's not just your heart at risk." She rose to her feet slowly, the man glared at the ground, brining the fruit to his mouth he bit it spitefully.

Instantly his mouth was filled with a decadent sensation, it lasted for the briefest moment, and then a sour tang laced the sweetness. The Doctor grimaced.

"Ah, bitter sweet that is."

"Exactly Doctor. As is most things in life." She turned her surreal eyes on him once again. "I've known you for only a short time, and we may never meet again, but I would not trade our time for the world. And I'd be willing to bet, neither would she."

Before he could fully register her words, before he could ask how she knew his name she disappeared into the bustling market place...and the Doctor went back and he took Rose Tyler to see the stars.

TWO YEARS PREVIOUSLY...

Amry walked down the street, her little basket hanging off her arm, hair uncovered to the gentle wind. A man in a pinstriped suit was racing down the street towards her, intent on going past. But when he saw her he skidded to a halt.

"You!"

She stared at him in alarm, holding her basket tight to her. He glanced around as if he was in a great hurry. A dark haired girl in red leather ran up behind him.

"Doctor come on!"

"Hold on Martha. Listen. You are going to see a man in a blue box, sometime in the future. Talk to him, what ever you do, don't let him stay alone, there are whole worlds depending on it. Got that?"

She nodded slowly, offering the smallest of smiles. He beamed back.

"Because let me tell you something. Rose Tyler...She's worth it. Every second of it. You got that?"

"I understand." Amry said demurely and with another startling grin he sprinted on.

TEN YEARS IN THE FUTURE...

"Hello!" The Doctor grinned as he stumbled into the familiar market place. "I've been here before."

"Where's this then? Mud ball two? They've got enough of it." Donna griped, studying the bottom of her heels, where a thin layer of brown sludge had attached itself.

"Naw, this is Gunru! Great little planet, good economy. Mind you not much in the way of excitement. I stopped a smuggling trade around here once, just small scale stuff. Still...the police were pretty impressed."

"Look at you, think you're so clever! What else have they got? Little town mayor with bow tie and a bowler?"

"Well, don't know about that, but!..." He looked around, running over to a nearby street lamp and tapping it with his knuckles before taking a big sniff and licking it quickly. Donna grimaced.

"I don't see how anyone could fancy you when you do that...'s disgusting!"

"Yep! I was right! Somewhere around here is a girl with really BRILLIANT, hair. I mean really, really...brilliant. You should see it." He waved his hands around his head suggestively. "You'd be jealous. I was jealous! And I've got some great hair to start with!" He scanned the street quickly, "She may be around here. From what I could tell she likes to go out a bit. Always got this little basket full of strange fruit. Thriving fruit trade Gunru."

"I'm sure." Donna agreed sarcastically while the Doctor ran up to a random stranger and threw them into shock with one of his electric grins.

"Hello! Listen have you seen a girl around here? Translucent hair? Makes little rainbows in the sunlight?"  
"It does what?" Donna demanded but the Doctor shushed her with a wave. The stranger he'd been talking too, wrenched away suddenly, shaking her head a little too earnestly and fleeing the scene.

"Oh, what do you 'spose that's about then? Got yourself a baddie have you Doctor? And you thought we were the only ones!"

"I'll be very surprised if I have..." The Doctor mumbled only half listen and approached another passersby. "Hi, have you seen a girl around here with a little basket? Where's a hood? Her hair makes rainbows?"

The man crossed himself, muttering viciously and drew away with a poisonous glare.

"Huh." The Doctor and Donna shared a look, both frowning now. "Right." Setting his shoulders in determination the Doctor leaped onto a nearby bench, clearing his throat loudly. "Excuse me! If I could just...get your attention, for a bit..."

The people walked by heedlessly, not bothering to turn their heads.

"OI! LISTEN UP!" Donna barked and silence fell over the street.

"Thanks..." The Doctor whispered a bit apprehensively. She waved him off sweetly, studying her nails. "Right, I'm looking for a girl, rainbow hair, purple eyes..." Dissent broke out among the crowd and people began to drift away quickly but one girl stepped forward. She was young dressed in a pale white dress, her mousy hair done up in a neat bun.

"I Know Her!"

"O' Brilliant! Come on Donna!"

"Yeah, alright."

"I am very glad to have met you Doctor." Simna told him with an exhausted smile. The Doctor grinned back, hands clasped behind his back. "I had so feared she'd be alone."

"Alone? What-What do you mean? I mean I saw all the..." He glanced behind him at the fading market. "Whatever that was. But what did it mean?"

"She said you were not of here..." Simna mumbled looking between them. "Doctor...do you know...what's happened to Amry?"

"Amry? Is that her name? Brilliant name that. Amry. Very nice. What do you think Donna?"

"What's happened to her then?" Donna asked worriedly, trying to keep the Time Lord on track.

"She's caught the Sickness."

"The Sickness...What's that then? Well...it's a sickness I suppose. What's it do?"

"It kills you Doctor. Slowly."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow in shock, his face grim.

"How long?"

"It takes years. But...you know when you reach the end." She turned away.

"What about you Simna where do you fit into all of this? If this Sickness is really so bad why risk the exposure?"

"I'm a healer. It's my job to tend to the ill. The Sickness is bad, but only contagious at the very end. My time with Amry is running out. Soon..." She shook her head. "It's why I am so glad you came, any later and you would have been to late to say goodbye."

The Doctor made a non-committalnoise.

"Tell me something Simna. The people of Gurnu, they're pretty human in appearance, no real shocks, so what about Amry? Where did the hair come from? What gene pool?"

"I'm...not sure. No one knows where Amry came from. She appeared in the market one day, there is no memory of her childhood. It's why she's treated with such mistrust, the Sickness only added to that. There are rumors... myths...that Amry is the child of the universe. That she was brought to Gunru for a purpose. Whatever it was I hope she has served it by now, because she is out of chances." Simna stopped outside a small, domed hut pushing the loose door open to admit them. "I'll wait here." The Doctor smiled his grim thanks and went inside.

Amry looked up as the Doctor entered the room a smile lighting her face.

"Doctor."

"Hello again." His face was serious as he came to sit beside her bed, his red headed companion standing beside him. "What'd I tell you Donna? Great hair."

Donna made a small noise in agreement but her gaze was on Amry's eyes.

"Doctor...thought you said she's got purple eyes?"

"She ha..." He looked again. "She had.." He leaned in a little closer, studying the once lavender irises, now stained a blotchy yellow. "What's happened to them then?"

Amry smiled and drew in a ragged breath, her whole body shuddering.

"The same thing that happens to all the Sick Doctor...they've become...ornamental."

"Wha? You mean they don't work?" Donna asked. "You've gone blind?"

"Yes." She fixed Donna with her blind stare. "Nothing works anymore, save my ears. They are always the last to go."

"What is this Sickness?" The Doctor demanded angrily. "What does it do? How does it work?"

"It's an ancient illness. One the people of Gunru stopped fighting long ago."

"Stopped? Why?" Donna asked incredulous. "Why stop fighting?"

"Would you fight a losing battle?"

"Yes." the Doctor answered immediately, his eyes steely.

"Then you are stronger then most Doctor. For the Gunru people, fighting only brought more pain. So other measures were taken. To try and stop the spread of Sickness."

"What 'measures'?" The Doctor asked instantly, not at all liking the implications.

"So many questions Doctor. Will wait for answers?" the room grew silent, though no one in it looked happy. "The Sickness is a terrible thing Doctor. It eats away at you slowly, draws the use from your body. First your eyes..." Here she stopped and gave them both a good look at her clouded irises. "Then your body. Slowly. An arm won't move right, then maybe you get a limp...until you can't move at all." she moved her eyes down inviting him to remove her blanket.

Hesitantly the Doctor drew back the sheet and Donna gasped. Amry was caught in a curled position, frozen, but the shock was not in her shape...but in her skin. It had shrunken and knotted around her muscles, peeling away in places, and outlining her bones and organs clearly. The Doctor looked back at her, horrified.

"Soon you lose your sense of smell and taste together...food loses much of it's appeal, until all you have left is your ears and your voice...everything is taken away...except the pain." Here a single tear escapes her eye, trailing down her cheek. "So the council enacted measure 43.9, 'All sufferers of the Sickness will be provided the utmost care until such a time as benignity escapes them at which point they will be...euthanized."

"Euthanized?" Donna repeated. "What...You mean killed?!" she looked to the Doctor, but he said nothing just stared at Amry grimly.

"Death stop the contagion from spreading. With enough time and diligence...the Sickness may yet be wiped from the universe."

The Doctor leaped to his feet with a growl.

"That's the problem with people they're thick! All of them! Thick, thick, thick!" he whirled to Amry with a snarl. "This is ridiculous! You can't kill an illness! You can't..." He tore at his hair, spinning scanning the room, demanding inspiration. "You can't kill an illness, you can only fight it! You HAVE to FIGHT it!"

"I did fight it Doctor...fighting bought me time, time enough to say goodbye." They stared at each other, and Donna would have sworn the girl could see, if her eyes hadn't been so vacant. "Simna."

The nurse appeared instantly, her face guilty.

"The Doctor is ready to leave I think." There was no malice in her voice just resignation. This was her fate, she knew it, she had accepted it, and his defiance of the fact only hurt her more.

"This Sickness what is it? What's it's name? It's medical name it has to have one what is it?" He fixed his eyes on Simna. "What is it?!"

"It doesn't have one. It's just...the Sickness."

He whirled back to Amry with a growl.

"Blood. I need blood."

"Doctor..."

"I can fix you but I need your blood!" he turned back to a Simna, "I need a syringe. I am going to find a cure for this 'Sickness' if it takes me all of time and space. I can do it too, I just. Need. Some. Blood."

Nobody spoke as Simna left the room, returning with a long needle, she proceeded to draw a few ounces from Amry's stomach, handing it to the Doctor without a word.

The Doctor nodded his thanks and turned to leave.

"Goodbye Doctor." Amry sighed behind him..

"You'll see me again." was all the Doctor said in reply.

TWO WEEKS OF LINEAR TIME AFTER THAT...

"Oh. Hello..." The Doctor turned to his Tardis. "Thank you dear." He then proceeded to brush past Amelia Pond, back into the console.

"Doctor? What're you doing? Are we leaving?"

"No. No. Course not Pond, never leave before an adventure, no. Just need to pick up something. Very important this, should've done it years ago..."

"Where are we?" Rory asked stumbling into the control room.

"Oh, look who decided to vacate the lavatory. Really Rory...We are at Gunru!" He grinned, tucking a little black cylinder into his jacket. "Been here a couple of times before, brilliant little place, the people are a bit...close minded. Nothing to worry about, just don't go asking a lot of questions. Anyway, just a routine visit, probably won't be here for very long..." tweaking his bow tie he strode out into the street. "Come along Ponds."

The Doctor stood in front of the familiar little door, the Ponds arranged behind him. He couldn't knock...he couldn't face the woman beyond the door. He was late. He knew he was. He'd meant to do this years ago. And what if he was TO late? What then? Amry already dead, some new occupant living in these walls...Euthanized. He looked between the Ponds, forcing a small smile. Then he turned and, with a thick gulp, knocked. There was a moment of silence and then the door swung open.

"Simna!" He threw his arms out, grinning instantly.

"Can I help you?" Simna asked politely, looking between the three.

"It's me. It's the Doctor. And these are the Ponds. Amy, Rory, can we come in?" He brushed past her.

"But-bu-You're not the Doctor... The Doctor was...Scrawny, with thick hair and dark glasses."

"Yes, well, past me, had a bit of an accident since then, thing with radiation, but I got a new me, saved the world, met the Ponds, not a bad life." He grinned at Simna's gaping face and then his own grew grave. "How's Amry?"

"I'm here Doctor." Her voice was faint and ragged, long hours of coughing evident in every tremor. He made his way to her bedside slowly, taking up his previous place beside her. She looked thinner and smaller since he'd seen her last, her skin was grey, the color gone from her once pink lips.

"Sorry. I'm a bit late, there was stuff, I got a bit distracted..." He gave her a strained smile she couldn't see. "How are you?"

"I am at the end Doctor...You need not have returned." her face was twisted in shame.

"Ah! But then I couldn't give you...this!" He held the dark tube up triumphantly.

"What is it?" Simna asked quietly.

"It's the Cure. See? Told you I'd find it... all of time and space, bound to be discovered sometime."

"And what time is this?" Simna asked, her voice shaking with hope.

"Soon Simna. Soon." He turned to Amry. "But not soon enough for you." he smiled, looking pleased. "At least, not without my help. Rory!"

Both Ponds, who had been strangely quiet staring at the shrunken figure before them, her hair glowing slightly, jumped guiltily.

"Hm?"

"You're a nurse. Help me with this."

"Uh..." Fumbling forward, he tentatively helped the Doctor roll his patient about so that the Cure could be shot into the left side of her neck.

"There! All better, I promise. It'll take about two days to work properly and then no more sickness. Not for you." he beamed, holding his jacket lapels proudly. Amry smiled back, some of the pain gone from her face.

"Thank you Doctor. When the time comes I will repay you, at the end, I will be there."

at the end...

The Doctor stumbled free of the Tardis, great plumes of dark smoke trailing after him. Coughing he clutched his side as he fell, the tattered hem of his once great coat fluttering about his knees. He pushed sweat drenched ginger locks up his forehead, panting heavily.

"We did it old girl. We won." The Tardis thrummed a weary response, acrid smoke continuing to pour through her doors. "The very last Dalek...all of them...gone. At last." He turned, crawling back to his beloved box and resting a hand against her scorched outer shell, trailing his finger over one jagged crack in the wood. "At last."

The Doctor gasped as pain wracked through him, curling around his stomach, watching his hands. But there was no golden glow, no regeneration energy twirling around his fingers, no relief. This was the end.

"And I am here Doctor."

He looked up slowly, fighting the burn in his chest.

"Amry." he whispered and her answering smile was serene. "What are you doing here?" he looked around the barren asteroid the Tardis had fled to, devoid of all civilization all life save them.

"I owe you a debt Doctor. The universe owes you a debt, and I am here to repay it." She turned her head to the side and the Doctor followed her gaze.

"River."

"Hello sweetie." River walked to him slowly, kneeling gently by his side. Her face was twisted in pain as she looked at him, her hands hovering over his broken body.

"River." he reached up to grasp her wrist, drawing it down to to press a kiss to her knuckles.

"Oh my God." the voice came from behind Amry, beyond River.

"Martha!" He forced some enthusiasm into his voice, wincing in pain as he did so.

"Doctor." Her voice was soft as she took a place beside River, whose eyes had not left his face. "What's happened to you?" He waved a hand dismissively, struggling to sit upright.

"Nothing that hasn't happened before." He peeled his hand away from his side, looking down at the blood that stained his fingers. "Just...for the last time."

Her hands copied River's ghosting over his body.

"Isn't there anything we can do?" River asked, her voice broken.

"You've both already done so much. Thank you."

There was the crunch of footsteps and another person joined their group, sensible pump shoes grinding into the dirt.

"Oi...Time boy..."

"Donna." His voice was nothing but a breath as the agony of death drained him. Tears stained her face already but her face was defiant.

"I got a bone to pick with you."

"And I'm so very glad." the Doctor gasped, smiling softly.

"You left me. All of you, memories and all."

"Yes..." He closed his eyes, drawing in a shuddering breath. "But I'm not sorry."

Donna shook her head.

"Didn't think you'd be. Besides I've got Shawn now."

"Doctor! River!" the ground thundered beneath their harried steps and then the Ponds were beside him, flung to their knees in the dirt. "Oh, Doctor what's happened to you? What can we do? Tell us what to do? We can help you!"

The Doctor shook his head as Amy fussed over him, pulling his coat tighter about his shoulders, and smoothing away his bangs.

"Lie still and put pressure on the wound. River can get the Tardis to the hospital, we can fix this just hold on. River."

River looked at her father, her eyes moist and unseeing and when she spoke next there was a sob under her voice.

"It's too late."

"No it's not. Course it's not we can fix this can't we Doctor? Doctor?"

The Doctor forced his eyes open, forced a smile for the Ponds.

"No Amy you can't. Not this time." He looked between them all, his companions, and tried not to notice who was missing. Because she couldn't come. He knew that when he left her there. Happily ever after Rose Tyler. "You have all done so much for me...and I...didn't always do what I should have for you." He looked at Donna and River. "I didn't look back." now his eyes swept over them all. "I couldn't. But I just want you to know how important you all were to me. Every one of you. So very important." A tear left his eye. "Thank you."

There was no warning, they just faded away after that, the warmth and pressure surrounding him disappearing, leaving only the bitter wind, and Amry's glowing figure. He looked to her.

"Thank you."

She shook her head, smiling.

"The universe has repaid it's debt to you Doctor. Now it is time for me to repay mine." She stepped to the side, the light that had surrounded her beaming forth, a dark silhouette stepping from it's depths. She stared at him for a long moment, and he stared at her, his pain forgotten, his end forgotten. Because she was here. Where she never could be again. She was here.

"Doctor."

"Rose."

He forced himself upright, using the Tardis for support he clawed his way to his feet, swaying, a hand still pressed to his bleeding side. And she ran to him, heedless of everything else, heedless of Amry, the world she'd just stepped from and the Doctor's condition she ran and threw her arms around him. And he welcomed her, ignoring the side splitting agony, and steadily dripping blood. With the Tardis holding him up from behind he embraced her, drawing her close to him, burying his face into her windswept blond hair. She nuzzled her face into his neck, straining up on tiptoe. For an endless moment they stood there, enjoying the warmth and pressure of the other's embrace.

Then they drew apart slowly, staring greedily into each other's faces. His hands clasped her cheeks, his thumbs brushed away the tears in her eyes. Her own hands roved over him hungrily, tracing his ear, his cheek, the line of his nose, burying her fingers into his thick hair and rubbing her thumb over his lips.

"Rose." his voice trembled with longing.

"Doctor..." She choked back a sob, tears running fresh down her cheeks.

They shared one more long moment of silent staring, and then their lips crashed together. His hands moved around to cup her neck, fingers splayed through her hair. She fisted her fingers through his hair, pulling his head down closer to hers. And they would have stayed like that till the end of time, if pain had not sent the Doctor to his knees with a wrenching cry.

Rose fell with him, helping to lean him back against the Tardis doors. His hand clutched desperately to hers and she laid her palm against his cheek.

"Rose. My Rose Tyler. My beautiful, beautiful Rose Tyler. I never thought I would see you again."

"Me neither." Her voice was choked with sadness as she looked at him, dying in front of her. "Pity it's not under better circumstances." She sniffed and sobbed, bringing her head down to lay a kiss on his forehead.

"As a wise friend once told me, better a little time, then no time at all." He shot a look to Amry, whose head was hung, her eyes turned politely away.

"I 'spose." There was silence as Rose ran her fingers through his hair, looking into his clear blue eyes. "Finally ginger then." She managed at last. He grinned.

"Yep." He popped the 'p' loudly, loving the way it made her smile. "Finally got it last time round."

She nodded, her lips trembling to contain her wracking cries. The Doctor winced as another wave of pain crashed against him, his body going heavy with exhaustion, eyelids fighting to close.

"Not long now." his voice, shaking with effort, didn't rise above a breath.

"To you have to go?" Rose pleaded, tracing her thumb over the back of his hand again and again.

"'Fraid so." his eyes fluttered closed and for a moment he couldn't open them again, but he managed to do it one last time. "Goodbye Rose. I...love you."

"I love you too." Rose sobbed, burying her face in her hands. He peeled them away, looking into her eyes one last time.

"To right."

A smile cracked her sobs and his own flickered up in response as his eyes closed and Rose was returned to where she came from. Silence reigned over space. The Doctor had died. Time would never be the same again.

Slowly Amry approached, four men in simple dress trailing behind her. They gathered the Doctor from the dirt and pulled the Tardis from the crater in which she'd embedded herself. Then they carried him inside through a console room still laced with smoke, past lighted hallways and familiar doors. Deeper into the Tardis then anyone had ever gone before. Till they came to a door surrounded in darkness and entered the Doctor's bedroom beyond. They laid him upon his plain four poster bed, crossing his hands over his chest. And left him there, surrounded by half finished gadgets, the clothes of past regenerations and pictures of the Doctor's past, pictures of his friends and his foes and the places he'd been.

And the Tardis she took him, back to the museum she'd now never left, back to a Galifrey still in peace, and she locked her doors and turned of her lights and there they stayed. The Tardis and her Doctor immortalized forever. Through war and strife...peace and love...preserved for the forever they had already lived. The boy and his box, together forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Sorry.


End file.
